A Vending Machine, on the Internet

These days, every new business seems to be a SaaS. I remember when software worked differently: you bought it, installed it, and used it without having to create an account, remember a password, or even connect to the internet. Your data lived on your C drive, and you were in control. Software was a tool, like a hammer or a chair. Buy a chair, and you could sit on it for life. No monthly fees required.

For anyone diving into product creation online, SaaS may seem like the obvious route. And while I totally understand its appeal, I’m not interested in building yet another SaaS. I want to do something different, something fun… I want to build a vending machine.

Alien Stickers

The other day, I was at Food Lion and spotted a vending machine selling reflective alien stickers for 50 cents. I am precisely the target market for this kind of thing. So, I dug into my car, found two quarters, and fed them into the machine. Out came a shiny, reflective USA flag alien sticker. More or less, exactly what I expected. And for 50 cents, what more could I ask for?

Next time I went to Food Lion, I visited the alien sticker machine again. This time, I put in two quarters, and nothing happened. The machine was jammed. It wasn’t a big deal. I shrugged and moved on to buy my groceries. A month later, I checked back, and the alien stickers were gone, replaced by flashy gold keychains.

There’s a dude out there who owns this machine. He swings by, dumps out the quarters, reloads the goods, and moves on. He doesn’t onboard customers. He doesn’t provide 24/7 chat support. If I walk away because the machine was jammed? This bro ain’t losing sleep over it. He’s drinking free beer with his buddies, all thanks to that sack full of quarters.

That’s the energy I want.

My alien sticker vending machine abduction (and experience building SaaS software) has helped solidify the mental model for how I want ThreeKindWords.com to work. I wouldn’t say the alien sticker vending machine inspired Three Kind Words, but it definitely helped me frame how I want it to work.

What Makes a Internet-based Vending Machine?

Let’s break this down. What makes a vending machine a vending machine? And how do we apply that to something on the internet?

Simple

No surprises, no bait-and-switch, no aspirational messaging, just a plain and simple offer. Coins in, product out. The UI should be as simple as it gets: a few form fields and a Stripe checkout, perhaps an email, then your’re done.

Transactional

This isn’t a subscription service; it’s a one-and-done kind of deal. A vending machine isn’t interested in knowing your life story. If it needs to remember you, it should do so with tokens and one-time links, not user accounts or forgotten-password flows, and never ever a “Sign in with Google” button.

Cheap

The stakes should be low. Whatever you’re selling, it’s gotta be cheap. And if things go awry? No one’s going to launch a chargeback crusade. Just like a reliable vending machine, if it jams, it’ll return your coins.

Autonomous

Vending machines are entirely self-serve. There’s no customer support, chatbot, or extensive documentation. They do their job, they don’t bother you, and they don’t care if you linger or walk away.

Fun

A vending machine isn’t trying to transform your life. It’s not a productivity tool or anything you should build critical infrastructure around. It’s a weird little box full of stuff that makes you smile for no reason.

One Weird Trick

Classifying ThreeKindWords.com as an vending machine on the internet has been a huge mental unlock for me. It sets the tone for how I build it: no subscriptions, no accounts, no long-term user retention goals. Just a simple machine that does its job and doesn’t ask for more.

Other people can chase unicorns. I’ll take the sack full of quarters!